Turn Right at the SAQ

 

Quebec surprised me by electing a conservative government last election.  The Solidaire advanced a platform that should have been  more appealing to citizens, but for one poison pill: separating from Canada.

This tactic is common to several 'left wing' political movements.  For example, Bernie Sanders in the US offers a great social and environmental platform which is also protectionist and anti-free trade.  

I was doubting the sincerity of some 'left wing' parties' and wondering if their progressive proposals were advanced only to assume power.  Although this satire is a poke at left wing politicians, right wing politicians have used this tactic for years.

The SAQ, for the uninitiated, are the Quebec liquor stores which sell plantation rum -- the political bloggers' beverage of choice.   

Turn Right at the SAQ

I could barely believe my luck at my next interview.  Sitting beside me, in the airport lounge the other day, was the famous anonymous official strategist from the Quebec Solidaire.   He was headed back to Quebec City, and seemed despondent as he slid onto the bar stool.
            “Tough day?” I asked, when he glanced over.

            “Oh, it’s you,” He said and smiled, "the blogger from Alberta.  Crazy day -- we’ve been trying to figure out why we only got 16 percent of the vote last time.   We don't understand.”

            I nodded, “It’s tough to figure out the electorate.  What was your platform?”

            “We promised free education for everyone from daycare right up to graduate university.  The CAQ wants to do away with local school boards and scaled daycare.  That alone should have gained us an extra 20 percent.” He raised his glass of Pinot Grigio.

            “Maybe the taxpayer didn’t want to incur any more debt,” I suggested.

            “Oh no.  No extra debt.  That cost less than a billion and we have the surplus.  The money is no problem."   He added, “We should have gained another 30 percent because of our environmental platform.  We took a great stand.”

            “More hydro projects?” 

            “Even better; we planned to reduce emissions overall by 95 percent.  Cars and trucks sold after 2030 must be hybrid or electric, and then no gas cars after 2050, period.”

            “The environment is important to most people, from everything I have read.”

            “Absolutely,” as he nodded in agreement.  “The CAQ wouldn’t even cut the government subsidies for fossil fuels.  They promised the exact opposite of everything taxpayers believe in.   It’s just so hard to understand what went wrong.”

            “Did you address immigration to Quebec?  It was in the news last year.  There were a lot of complexities.”  I was perplexed too.

            “We took a pretty safe stand on that one,” he smiled knowingly as he explained, “We would not raise or lower our quotas.   We would only increase spending for language education for new immigrants.  We planned to ensure that new Quebecois speak proper French, not this Parisian stuff they mumble in France.  Everybody is on board with that.”

            “I can understand that,” I replied.

            “And, to top it off we planned legislation that one in four government hires must be from visible minorities until minorities made up 13 percent of government employees.  How fair is that?” he exclaimed.

            “Don’t you think hiring at that rate might be unfair to other qualified citizens?” I asked.  “People would want qualifications to be the guide, not politics.”

            “We thought of that too.”  He explained.  “We would nationalize mining and forestry.  Workers in those sectors would become government employees, making it easy-peazy for future hires.  How brilliant is that?  Those CAQ people plan to cut immigration, so we should have gained 13 percent with that alone.” 

            “You would nationalize mining and forestry?” I asked, incredulously.

            “It’s a small detail,” he assured me. “No one would notice.”

            “Maybe voters were afraid of losing their jobs.” I offered, grasping at solutions for him. 

            “Mais non!  We have just about full employment,” he said.  “As a matter of fact we promised to raise the minimum wage to 15 dollars per hour effective immediately.  We promised to extend vacations from 2 weeks to 4 weeks minimum.  And, to make it even better, we would end forced overtime.  Those CAQ people did not even talk about this stuff; other than offer perhaps a couple of teenie-weenie tax breaks.  That alone should have added 30 percent to our votes.”

            “Ok, the religious symbols debate in Quebec?” I shot back. “That is a pretty divisive issue.”

            “Hah! No problem.”  His immediate retort. “We would ban public religious symbols during working hours for government employees only.   Government has no place in private lives, so we would leave that alone; not like the CAQ that goes messing into private lives.”

            I was just about out of ideas or suggestions.  “Everybody likes a drink at election time; maybe voters thought they were voting for the SAQ instead of the CAQ,” I suggested in frustration.

            “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully.  After a blink he leapt to his feet.  “Mon Dieu!   We could fill public fountains with wine on holidays.  It might work.”  He slapped money on the bar for his unfinished wine and stabbed his half-finished cigarette into the ashtray.  “You might just be on to something here.  I have to get back to the office!”

            “One more question though,” I called to his back.  “You didn’t bring up separation from Canada again, did you?”  He was already at the door.
            “Details!” he called back over his shoulder.  “You get way too hung-up on details,” and he was gone.